my top nine favorite onion articles:

1. I'm Prepared To Do Anything To Get That Cupcake
   
2. New High-Viscosity Mayonnaise To Aid In American Swallowing
   
3. Pudding-Factory Disaster Brings Slow, Creamy Death To Town Below
   
4. Hug Me! vs. No, Hug Me!
   
5. I Like All Types Of Music
   
6. Hey, You Got Something To Eat?
   
7. Area Man Way Too Into Local County History
   
8. Welcome To T.G.I. Fridays! May I Annoy The Living Shit Out Of You?
   
9. Family Dog Suspected Cause Of Miniature Chuck-Wagon Disaster
   

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